I Don't Do Mornings

I don't do mornings. Well I do mornings. What I have to do anyway but I don't do mornings.....gracefully. I get up and get my boys dressed, fed and wait for the bus with them (which I do in my jammies, uggs and a hooded sweatshirt). Then I drag my butt back into the house to get Wee One ready for the day. I am in a fog until probably 10ish and do very little besides check emails and facebook and maybe tidy up the kitchen a bit. All the while looking like I just rolled out of bed after a late night bender. mornings that I take Fuzzy and Wee One to playgroup the morning routine is accelerated a bit with the goal of getting to group (that starts at 9:30) by 10....ish. It wasn't much better when I worked mornings at the Donut Shack but I got up really early for work so that the whole morning process was on a little earlier timetable.

I never invite any sort of company during the morning adjustment period. NEVER. I don't think I am a very vain woman but I do like to look my best when having contact with anyone from the outside world. It is in their own best interest for their eyesight if they don't stop by before 10ish for a surprise visit. Anytime before that and they are setting themselves up for a fright. I don't even go to Walmart without getting dressed, doing something with my hair and putting on the little bit of make up I wear on a
daily basis (trust me it makes a huge difference). There is nothing worse than running into that mean girl from highschool looking less than fantastic.

Lots of people will say why bother I'm not supposed to be trying to impress anyone anyway. Seriously? I mean no, I'm not looking for a date but I am most definitely out to impress. Your local grocery store is filled with potential employers, customers, fellow parents from your childrens' school, former flames, former school mates that you haven't seen since you were an awkward teenager. Also, while I'm not on the hunt for a man because I have a great one at home, it is nice to be noticed and for some guy to think "wow, that Papa Bear is a lucky man". I'm not dead after all. It makes me feel better to look nice. With that god awful birthday coming it seems all that more important to put the effort forward.

Sorry, I got a little off track. I was talking about mornings and my lack of participation in them. This morning I had one of those pre-10ish surprise visits which prompted this rant...I mean blog entry. A guy that used to be my neighbour when X and I lived in town bought from my boys' school fundraiser. I offered to drop off his order but being an avid fisherman he has been busy catching and cleaning with his buddies and so wouldn't be around. He wanted to come pick it up this morning. Last night I told him I would message him when it was a good time to come out, likely around 10ish (when morningness had worn off). That would give me time to brush my hair and teeth, get dressed and look presentable to anyone outside my family. He showed up on his own an hour early.....

If I had seen him pull in I probably wouldn't have even answered the door. My hair was not brushed (I had a nice little rooster tail thing going on in the back even) or my teeth, I was dressed - in my jammies which consist of silly penguin polar fleece pj pants and a very thin but very comfortable t-shirt that leaves nothing to the imagination....including the fact I was not wearing a bra. Nipply just freaking nipply - I mean nice. Poor guy probably had to go home to scrub his eyeballs with steel wool to remove the image he was just presented with. Instead of thinking "wow, that Papa Bear is a lucky man" I'm sure he was thinking something more along the lines of "Good lord man, better you than me!". I bet he will call before he shows up like that on someones doorstep like that again. If nothing else he learned a hard lesson - I DON'T DO MORNINGS.