Real Women Have Curves

Today I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. We were talking about women and weight. We talked about a couple specific people that we both know and where they fall on Sketch's scale. I came to a conclusion...my friend, Sketch is either a horrible, horrible little man OR measures on a completely different scale than most.

Sketch's idea of "thick" or "bigger" girls is pretty much anyone that ate today. Though he didn't call me "thick" or "bigger" he did say it about girls that I compare to in size. Perhaps he thinks I just fell off the turnip truck and didn't catch this. I kind of wanted to punch Sketch right square in his little nose which sits upon his little head a top his skinny little body but then I realized it just didn't matter.

Before you think that I spent my night with my face buried in a tub of ice cream or standing in front of the mirror dissecting my bulges think again. I know I am NOT "thick" or "bigger" but even if I was I wouldn't let this skinny little man's measurement make me think less of myself. Do I have my share of body image issues? Sure I do but those are my own, not ideas put in my head by any other person.

With people who measure like Sketch it is no wonder that I know a very slender six year old girl who is already concerned about her weight or rather the worry that she will some day get "fat". It is sad that she is thinking about someone else's idea of what she should look like already at such a young age.

Poor Sketch he just doesn't even have a clue. "Thick" by his measurement is more like average. If he adjusted his scale of measurement to reflect truth he may open himself up to see that an average women is not stick thin with no existence of an ass and only skin covering her protruding bones. Real women have curves buddy and I am a real women.

Grrrrrr....Cougars

No, I am not talking about the large cat that lives in the wild. I am talking about a whole other species of animal...older ladies that are trying to live 20+ years younger than they are. They think they are young, hip and reeking of sex appeal.

You know the ones. They are the ones that wear too much make up and use too much hairspray. They wear tight fitting, loud clothing most commonly in some sort of animal print. They paint their nails in bright colours and wear huge gaudy jewelery. They hit on much younger men and spend too much time in tanning beds.

These are the kinds of ladies that own a dozen jars of wrinkle cream that they smear on their laugh lines and crows feet religiously trying to turn back the hands of time. Sorry ladies but you can resurrect a dinosaur either.

There should be some rules for these cougars;

1. you may not shop in the junior section.
2. You may not borrow clothing from your daughter/granddaughter.
3. Leather is what your boots should be made from not your face.
4. Animals are the only ones that should really be wearing animal prints.
5. Bigger is not always better.
6. Bikinis should not be worn by anyone over the age of 40.
7. Just say no to miniskirts after 35.
8. When it comes to accessories, less is more
9. You should not date anyone that who's age is less than yours divided by 2 or more.
10.Make up does not need more than 1 coat...you are not painting a house.


If these ladies would just simply follow these rules the rest of us might stop staring in disbelief that you actually left your houses like that.