Catching Up - Again

      It's been about a year and a half since I touched this poor neglected blog. It's not that I haven't had anything to blog about. I just haven't been able to find time. Between the boys, working, baking and curling (yep, I'm Canadian AND cool like that), I can't seem to find time to sit down and type out the genius things that come to me at 2:30am when I'm fighting pregnancy insomnia or in the 10 minutes I get to try to shower and shave my entire body without company. I can manage to take all my turns on Words With Friends and to creep my friendemies on Facebook but not organize my thoughts into a blog post -anyone that has read the blog before can attest to my fabulous organization of thought *insert sarcasm here* (the title isn't RANDOM Blogness because it resembles any sort of organization). Placenta brain does not help the situation either. Things fall out of my head almost as fast as they pop into it these days. I guess I should do a little catch up.

      Since my last post (October 2011) not a ton has happened in the Bear Family. I quit selling purses and went back to work part time at one of North America's best known department stores. Of course there is a policy that prevents me from mentioning the name of that particular store but I will tell you it starts with a W and if you have ever shopped in your pajamas I can guarantee you've been there. I man the jewellery counter and spend my time there changing watch batteries, watch bands and cashing out groceries. It isn't really a job that challenges me but it puts some spendy money in my pocket and they are much better to their employees than the people I have worked for in the past.

      My boys are growing bigger and brighter everyday. Little Bear is now 10 -going on 30. He is turning into a little man complete with stinky armpits and pre-teenage attitude. I can really see him taking after me more and more all the time (except for the stinky armpits). He's quick as a whip and feels the need to have the last word in every argument. This seems to be the main road block when the two of us bump heads. Most of our arguments end in, "well I'm your Mother and I say that's how it's going to be" and him mumbling under his breathe hoping I don't hear him as he walks away. Fuzzy is 6.5 and finally starting to show off the intelligence I always knew he had but that he likes to keep a secret. He is quite a smarty pants but a little on the lazy side. While his teacher and I both knew what he is capable of doing he seems to have been just fine with just squeaking by. I can see this slowly changing and him wowing those that didn't have a clue. The Wee One is my stinker and never seems to be able to pass up an opportunity to find trouble. He has also become quite the comedian and regularly comes out with comments that I can't help but laugh at like "Mom, you're not just pretty. You're pretty useful too" or his insistence that we name his baby brother that is coming in June, Sensei. Which brings me to baby #4 who already seems to think he is funny by developing a penis and therefore making me the only female in a house with 5 males. I am destined to forever sit in pee on the toilet seat and be a defender against stink and stains all on my own. Of course there are a few perks of being the only queen in the castle. If there is something pink in the bottom of the clean laundry basket, there is a good chance it belongs to me which will save time when hunting for something to wear and after a while when the boys are all a bit bigger I will have the smallest under pants in the whole household.

      Incase you were wondering, no, we are not going to keep trying for a girl. Papa Bear and I are going to be done at 4 baby bears. Papa Bear will be getting the snip to prove it (haha). Sadly that pretty much wraps up what I think is blogworthy for the last year and a half. Again I will promise to try to find more time to blog but I'm a realist and know that I shouldn't make promises I can't keep, especially since I'm bound to forget by dinner.

Time For Some Catch Up

Last week some dude from some web company sent me an email asking if they could advertise on my blog. I responding that I didn't think my blog was a good fit to advertise his site and that the blog has been dormant for almost 5 months. 5 months? 5 freaking months? That's the longest I have gone without blogging since I started this almost 2 years ago. I think its time for a little catch up. Be warned this may be a little unorganized and a whole bit scattered but here is the update:

We have been spending a lot of time (and money) on the never ending addition renovation to our house that started in June. It is still not complete and I am beginning to wonder if Papa Bear is trying to extend this project so that our first grandchild can have a hand in the construction. Our bedroom is done, the family room is done and the office is done. The bathroom is 1/2 done and the basement has miles to go. We also have half a roof to finish and almost the entire old part of the house to finish residing. I love the parts that are done and I hate the parts that are not.


Since I quit my day job last summer i was finally able to do something I have wanted to do since Little Bear started school and that was to volunteer and spend time in the boys' school. I'm just helping make snacks on Wednesday mornings but its been great. If I had known what a big smile it would put on my kids' faces to see their mama in the hallway at school I think I would have figured out a way to make it happen before now. I also got to go on my first field trip which I almost had to opt out of because both Little Bear's and Fuzzy's classes were going on the same field trip on the same day putting me in a position where I had to choose which boy to go with. The boys and I made a deal that I would go with whichever classes was more in need of volunteers. It turned out Little Bear's class had lots of parents and Fuzzy's had hardly any which put me on the trip with the Junior Kindergartens. It was a fun day.

I worked a ton before Christmas. Actually I worked a ton from May until before Christmas and now, like my blog, business has been pretty dormant. This time of year is a slow time for the home party business but this is getting a bit much. I went from working 15-20 days out of a month to working 1-2 nights a month. That is putting a huge dent in my spending budget and I'm getting a bit of cabin fever. Even my Magic Pumpkin is trying to tell me I need to get out of the house more when it decides not to start after sitting without being started for 3 days. I know most people are thinking 3 days is not a long time to be home bound but for me it is unheard of. From the day I got my licence about 12 years ago, I haven't spent 3 consecutive days at home without being sick with the flu or some other debilitating illness. It doesn't help when my few close friends are really busy and I am not.

My little bears have been sick a bit this winter. Mostly with just colds and coughs and a quick but mighty bout of the flu. Basically I have bought more than my quota of tissue and Tylenol. I'm also getting used to checking the shoulder of my sweater for Wee One's snot wipes before going out and washing my hands until there isn't any skin left on them. Little Bear actually missed 2 days of school due to illness this year and that is unusual for him.

Most recently we have had a decent amount of snow dumped on us. Most people bellyache about winter and snow but I love it. If I didn't already love living in the country, winter in the country would do it. More snow and less shovelling. Its great to stand at the window with the boys and watch Grandpa push the snow out of the driveways with the tractor from the warmth of the house. Until this week I had forgotten we even had a shovel. Since we live in the country my boys take a bus to school - Snow = fun, Too much snow = Snow day...not so much fun (for me anyway).

There hasn't really been too much else going on here. I got glasses - just another reminder that I'm getting older and closer to that terrible birthday that is creeping up on me. I had top sales at my job for 4 months in a row. That was pretty cool. I learned to geocache (to me a form of treasure hunting) with my baby brother. I did a home party fundraiser for someone I wasn't sure I wanted to do one for which turned out really great both from a business and a personal prospective. I didn't make a New Year's resolution that I was going to break anyway.

That's about it. That's the last almost 5 months in a nut shell. I guess you can see now that my lack of material is the reason for my absence. Hopefully something exciting and blog worthy comes up soon so I can get back into the grove. For now consider yourself caught up.

ANGRY

I'm angry. Angry at the world lately. Angry at work, angry at home, angry in traffic, angry at night, angry in the morning, angry all day long.

I didn't even realize it until the last couple of days that I am so angry. I need to chill or I'm going to have a heart attack before my 30th birthday. The stupidest crap is making me angry.

I'm angry at home. Angry that my house is a pig sty and I don't even know where to start. This is a direct link to something else at home that is making me angry, not being able to find ANYTHING. Thus causing me to hunt for 20 minutes to find a hat for each of my kids. A hat, something we have a million of but can't find 1.

I'm angry at work. Angry at coworkers (who don't do their job to the same degree as I do but still get paid the same - I'm not saying I'm perfect but I'm putting a ton more effort in that a lot). Angry at customers (that do/say dumb stuff - I really just want to "Soup Nazi" their coffee...NO COFFEE FOR YOU!) Angry about stupid little things that mount up to big heap of things to be angry about. Doing jobs like sweeping or mopping the Donut Shack provide me with time to think about all the things that make me angry at work and therefore just make me angrier so by the time I'm done I'm red in the face MAD.

I'm angry in traffic. Angry because 3/4 of the drivers on the road don't really know HOW to drive and end up cutting me off, not waiting their turn at an all-way stop and are incapable of using a signal. So far I have kept my anger mostly to myself and have only said a few 4 letter words with the boys in the van.

I don't know why I am so angry. I am not generally a crazy hostile person but I am really worked up. I don't know how to shake this off but hopefully this is short lived and I can go back to enjoying my job and let some things roll off my back. I really don't like being so angry. I just am.