Potty Training Impossible

My oldest son potty trained at 2.5 years old. He was super easy to train and gave me a false sense that potty training itself was an easy process. Oh, how wrong that would turn out to be.

Fuzzy will be 3 in November. At the rate we are going with potty training he will be going to high school in diapers. Everyone told me that he would be easier to train than Little Bear because he would see his big brother using the toilet and wearing “big boy underwear” and would want to do the same....This has not been the case.

Fuzzy refuses to even consider using the toilet. He doesn’t seem to be afraid of it. He just doesn’t want to use it. He also has no interest in standing to pee which was a big deal to Little Bear when he was training so I purchased a potty chair. He will pee on the potty chair but not with any kind of regularity (not the kind of regularity that has to do with bran).

When I change his diaper I always ask if he wants to go pee on the potty. Sometimes he says yes and sometimes he says no. When he says yes he actually goes and I think “great. We are actually going to get this” and then I put a fresh diaper on and he goes again...

I ask him throughout the day if he would like to go pee on the potty and he almost always answers “I already did”.
By “I already did” he means “I already took a giant crap and have been marinating in it for the last 5 minutes”.
When I ask why he didn’t tell Mommy he had to go he either stares blankly at me or repeats “I already did”.

Fuzzy also has no interest in “big boy underwear”. With Little Bear wearing real underwear seemed to be the ticket to getting him to use the toilet instead of peeing his pants. Even though the thought of putting Fuzzy in underwear because of the number of times that boy poops in a day and the thought of cleaning crap out of underwear several times a day gives me the heebie geebies I am willing to give it a try if it means he will train quicker. However, when I ask him if he wants to wear “big boy underwear” like Little Bear he always says “no”.

Further discouraging is the fact I have several friends that have kids, boys at that who are the same age and well on their way of being potty trained. If we don’t get moving on training, Wee One is going to train before Fuzzy. Come on Fuzzy I’m about done with doing diaper duty for 2.

Practice Makes Perfect

I think Papa Bear is trying to get fired from diaper duty. I guess I should be happy that he helps at all since so many men have diaper phobia. Since we currently have 2 in diapers, unless I’m going to do nothing but change diapers all day long, I need the help.

This morning he suited up Fuzzy in a fresh diaper and released him into the house. Not long after Fuzzy climbed into Wee One’s playpen to play he climbed back out and came to me with poop sliding down his leg to tell me that he pooped in the playpen. There was a serious diaper malfunction and Fuzzy got a shower only half hour after his bath.

Papa Bear fitted Fuzzy with another fresh diaper and set him free again. While digging through Fuzzy’s dresser for clothes to dress him I distinctly heard the sound of liquid hitting laminate. I turned around to see Fuzzy standing behind me in a puddle of urine with a look on his face as confused as mine. When I changed this diaper I found that his penis was not enclosed in the diaper at all but sticking out the leg hole. What the heck Papa Bear?

If Papa Bear’s plan is to be removed from this duty he is going to be sadly disappointed. He obviously needs MORE practice so I think he should take over the job completely until he is a pro...like me :).

I don’t think this is the first time Papa Bear has tried to get fired from a less than pleasant task by displaying shoddy skill at that task. We have a similar issue when it comes to folding laundry...or rather ROLLing laundry as Papa Bear prefers to do.

We have 5 people living in our house and 5 people generate a lot of laundry. A lot of laundry means a lot of folding so similar to the diaper issue if only one of us is responsible for folding laundry they're not going to have much time for anything else. This being said I refuse to wear a piece of clothing that is so wrinkly it looks like I have been sleeping in it for a week.

I believe he has been applying this “do a crap job and get fired” method to get out of other jobs like taking out the garbage and sweeping the floor as well. Sorry Papa Bear but I’m not going to fire you I’m only going to “help” you get more practice. After all practice makes perfect...like me :).