Stupid Smart Meters

So the Ontario government has come up with a plan to "create a culture of energy conservation in the province" by attaching this wretched little metal box know as a "Smart Meter" to the side of our houses which tracks our energy usage. Basically this means if you don't want to pay through the nose for your hydro you have to put off using energy sucking appliances until after 9pm on weekdays or on weekends. While I appreciate their mission I do not appreciate their "off-peak" times.

Currently I do laundry almost all day most days and if I miss a few days then non-stop all day everyday. My dishwasher runs at twice a day most days and if I actually cook a big meal which produces more dishes than usual it could run more than that. With all day to do these things I rarely make it to bed before 1am and never before midnight. When I work I leave before the "off-peak" time starts and don't get home until 10 or 11 at night. If I'm not supposed to do my household chores through the day to avoid high rates then I'm going to have to start at 10 or 11 and instead of going to bed at 1am I'm looking at more like 4am by the time I'm done what needs doing during "off-peak" periods.

I know, lots of people run their dishwashers and washing machines while they are in bed sleeping. Knowing people who have had monstrous flooding and other issues while doing so has made me a bit leery. I have rotten luck to start with, there is no need to tempt fate.

I'm sure I will get used to the lack of sleep eventually. Nobody likes change and needs time to adjust orrrrrr maybe I will just stop doing the laundry and dishes and with the money I'll be saving by not using "on-peak" energy I can just buy my family new clothes and paper plates.

From what I have read about these meters they are attached to the sides of all residential homes and small businesses. How is that fair? They should be attached to the sides of office buildings and department stores. They are the one sucking all the in demand "on-peak" energy so they too should be forced to conserve or pay for it like the rest of us. Maybe I can take my laundry and dishes to be done during the day to Sears since they don't have to pay extra for the "on-peak" energy and I could serve as part of their demonstration team. I think it would increase sales for customers to be able to see the appliances in action, no?

If you want my opinion (if you are reading my blog than you must), it is just stupid to make only some of us smart about our energy usage. What's good for the goose is good for the gander or shove your stupid Smart Meters up your....nose!

Practice Makes Perfect

I think Papa Bear is trying to get fired from diaper duty. I guess I should be happy that he helps at all since so many men have diaper phobia. Since we currently have 2 in diapers, unless I’m going to do nothing but change diapers all day long, I need the help.

This morning he suited up Fuzzy in a fresh diaper and released him into the house. Not long after Fuzzy climbed into Wee One’s playpen to play he climbed back out and came to me with poop sliding down his leg to tell me that he pooped in the playpen. There was a serious diaper malfunction and Fuzzy got a shower only half hour after his bath.

Papa Bear fitted Fuzzy with another fresh diaper and set him free again. While digging through Fuzzy’s dresser for clothes to dress him I distinctly heard the sound of liquid hitting laminate. I turned around to see Fuzzy standing behind me in a puddle of urine with a look on his face as confused as mine. When I changed this diaper I found that his penis was not enclosed in the diaper at all but sticking out the leg hole. What the heck Papa Bear?

If Papa Bear’s plan is to be removed from this duty he is going to be sadly disappointed. He obviously needs MORE practice so I think he should take over the job completely until he is a pro...like me :).

I don’t think this is the first time Papa Bear has tried to get fired from a less than pleasant task by displaying shoddy skill at that task. We have a similar issue when it comes to folding laundry...or rather ROLLing laundry as Papa Bear prefers to do.

We have 5 people living in our house and 5 people generate a lot of laundry. A lot of laundry means a lot of folding so similar to the diaper issue if only one of us is responsible for folding laundry they're not going to have much time for anything else. This being said I refuse to wear a piece of clothing that is so wrinkly it looks like I have been sleeping in it for a week.

I believe he has been applying this “do a crap job and get fired” method to get out of other jobs like taking out the garbage and sweeping the floor as well. Sorry Papa Bear but I’m not going to fire you I’m only going to “help” you get more practice. After all practice makes perfect...like me :).

Climbing Mt. Laundry

I'm a little bit behind in my laundry. OK not a little bit, more like a lot. Today the goal for the day was to tackle the giant pile.

I started out with "the forgotten load". You know the one. The one that was forgotten in the washing machine last time and now smells like an old cellar. Based on experience with "the forgotten load" I have found that it works best to get rid of this smell by first drying the load before rewashing and drying again. (There's my Suzy Homemaker tip for the day).

After reviving "the forgotten load" I drug the laundry hampers from each bedroom. I'm pretty sure that having a hamper in each bedroom is my down fall in trying to stay on top of the laundry. If I only had 1 hamper I would have to run a load a whole lot more often - like every hour.

My washing machine is against me in this chore. The stupid thing has a digital timer that tells me how many "estimated" minutes left in the cycle. I'm no expert but I don't think it should say the "estimated" time left is 1 minute for 20 freaking minutes!

Of course this task could not be completed without the help of 3 pairs of tiny hands. Little Bear trying to be helpful, Fuzzy trying to be destructive and Wee One trying to be playful. Thanks guys, but I've got this one on my own.

I don't even know where half of the clothes come from. While sorting my loads I found clothes that I haven't seen in a very long time. In fact I'm not even sure they belong to anyone that lives here.

Since there was such a large amount of laundry I decided the best method to attack this chore would be to dedicate 1 empty basket to each of our 5 family members and one for towels and linens and sort each load into them before folding. This method also helped to prove that I need to buy some clothes since my basket was the least full. Somehow the person with the smallest clothes had the fullest basket. I ended up with a 7th basket full of clothes that are too small for one boy but too big for the next.

After all day of continuous load changes I only completed about 7 loads and have not yet made my way back down the other side of Mt. Laundry. I guess we know what the goal for tomorrow is now.