Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

I love snow. Maybe my northern blood runs deep, I don't know but I truly love the fluffy stuff. Mind you I live on a farm and we don't shovel snow, we plow it, that helps. I don't work outside in it so that isn't an issue for me. In fact snow actually helps business at the Donut Shack. There is nothing like a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate on a snowy day.

I love just about everything about snow. I like the way it looks, the way it feels, the way it crunches, the way it covers all the yucky leaves in my flowerbeds left over from the fall, the way it blows in little swirls, the way it drifts, and if my memory serves me right I do remember from my younger years I like the way it tastes (now I know that there is a good chance of ingesting dog urine or something else nasty with a mouth full of chilly snow, a chance I'm not willing to take with 2 dogs in the yard).

I don't even mind driving in the snow as long as it isn't white out conditions. I would rather drive in snow than rain actually. I'm not afraid to take my time when needed. I have an auto start on my magic pumpkin so I rarely have to sweep snow from my windshield and my vehicle is not to bad to drive on the slippery roads.

The only things I don't like about snow are that is slows down the school bus that picks up Little Bear in the morning which in turn slows me down to drop Fuzzy off at daycare and makes it a close call for me to get to work on time and the dirty mess the salt on the roads makes of my magic pumpkin (not really the snow that does that so I guess that isn't really something I don't like about snow).

I would much rather have months of snowy weather than a week of super hot summery weather. I love snow so all you anti-snow bellyachers suck it up and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Wednesday Drive

Today my two oldest sons were with their dad and it was just Wee One and I. I decided that we should go for a ride through Hicksville to the tractor dealership in a town about 45 minutes or so away (at least I think it is a town, maybe just a village, I don't know) to pick up a birthday present for my nephew who has a birthday at the end of the month. It was a beautiful day and Wee One was in desperate need of nap that could very well be ride induced.

With a sippy cup of ice water for Wee One and a soda for me we headed out on our drive. Wee One wasn't so keen on my nap idea but rather squealed with delight most of the way while I got down to Crazy Possessive by Kaci Battaglia (Wee One is much too little to repeat the words so this is about the only time I can sing it on the top of my lungs and not have to worry about the two oldest boys singing it to grandma later).

When I'm on any drive that lasts for more than a couple of minutes I like to look around at the things around me. Not so much that I can't keep my caravan on my side of the road or anything of course. Mostly I just saw a lot of trees and farms, one in particular with a cross on the barn, a little odd but whatever. I saw some horses, goats and cows.

In one front yard I saw a broken down tractor, like it had just stopped in the middle of the yard on it's way through. Instead of towing it out of their lawn though the people that lived there just planted flowers around it like they were trying to disguise the ugly, decrepit piece of farm equipment as, I don't know, some sort of clever artistry....FAIL. It really just looks like a piece of crap tractor surrounded by flowers. That's it. That's all. Not at all pleasant to look at. It's this kind of crap that helps to make my weed infested flower beds look better so thank you.

I saw a house all jacked up on some shady looking beams with kids ride-on toys all underneath it. Who the heck lets their children play under a jacked up house. Haven't they ever seen The Wizard of Oz? Didn't you see what that house did to that poor witch when it fell on her? Good grief people. I really don't think when you live in the country where there is plenty of room on all sides of you that you need to let your children play under your house. Safety first.

Farther down the road I saw a trailer or motor home (I'm not really sure what the proper name for them is) with two more trailers as additions. I guess it was like a trailer condominium or something. Or a trailer mansion (for those better off trailer trash kind of folk). Whatever it was it was one of the ugliest things I have ever seen. Instead of buying three trailers to try to stick together why not just buy or build a nice little house?

Another house had a second story balcony. The balcony was enclosed with chain-link fencing. Now, is it just me or does chain-link fencing not have an awful lot of give to be what is supposed to hold me in from free falling from the balcony and landing smack dab in the drive way next to a car with no wheels up on blocks? Just wondering is all.

Shortly before I arrived at my destination I had to pass by the large grassy hill that is really a dump in hiding. They almost had me fooled too - except for the dozens of seagulls flying overhead and the rotten stench wafting in my open windows (I forget about this every time and never remember to put the windows up until I am directly in front of the dump).

The ride back was equally as exciting as I looked for each of the landmarks I had discovered on my way there just to make sure I had really seen what I thought I had seen on the way there. Such a lovely day for a drive through Hicksville on this Wednesday afternoon.

Ahhhhhhh, A/C

I hate to sweat. I would much rather be freezing cold than even a little bit hot. When you are cold you can always put on more clothing, when you are hot you can only take so much off (without scaring other people anyway). This is why I can not live without air conditioning.

Air conditioning is a requirement for any house I live in or car I drive. Four walls and A/C and we're good, four wheels and A/C and we're good. I don't have it cranked to some ridiculous temperature that might turn my family into ice cubes, just a nice comfortable 74 degrees Fahrenheit is about right.

The first apartment X and I ever lived in was without air. It was our first summer in our first apartment that I purchased our first window air conditioner. The great big giant white box pumped all kinds of ice cold air into the tiny apartment cooling X, Roger the cat and I and making me a much happier lady.

My first car, a 1982 AMC Concord, dark green with baby poop brown interior, did not have air conditioning. The dark green paint helped to heat the little crap box up to a nice 110 degrees or better in the summer. Thankfully it had nice plush seats instead of vinyl or I may have been melted to them permanently. The most clothing I could ever wear to go for a drive was a bathing suit and a pair of shorts. It was brutal.

I feel sorry for all those poor bastards sweating it away all day and not sleeping at night. If I didn't have air conditioning (hypothetically speaking of course since that would never happen) I would spend my day at a coffee shop nursing the same soda for hours and soaking in their glorious artificial cool.

Or we could make an overly extended trip to Walmart. As long I buy something they can't kick me out can they? Yeah, I think Walmart would work best. Kids could take naps in the cart, on pillows that I "might purchase". I could visit with people I haven't seen in a while (I always run into these people when I go in to grab something quick). I could price compare any and all items I might purchase with my cell phone and save a bundle. Most Walmarts have a McDonalds in them so we would be set for meals as well.

Lord help me...or my in laws if my air conditioning breaks because I'll be moving in with them or who ever will take me until it is fixed...I will not sweat. It is not an option. Now will you excuse me, I need to go get a sweater.

Tis The Season for Construction

GRRRRRR...Tis the season for construction. I don't think I have seen so many orange pylons in my life as I did today. A 45 minute drive ended up taking well over an hour. This is on a day when I have a time limit and have to back by a certain time.

The ride was started off by me getting behind Grandpa Jones who must have forgot today was Monday and was out for his Sunday drive. Why bother posting a speed limit of 90km if Grandpa is going to drive 70km? Of course he was impossible to pass too.

Next came the bump in the road signs. BUMP in the road? More like a freaking portal into a new dimension. What the heck was that? Pretty sure I bottomed out the ole kid hauler over the first one.

After the "bumps" I came to the man with the stop/slow sign. Today's man with the sign was a little more interesting than most. In the 15 minutes I sat behind his stupid stop sign, he ate his lunch, drank an entire water bottle, applied sunscreen and scratched parts that he shouldn't have scratched in front of a line of 20 drivers. Thanks for that buddy.

The 20 other cars and I were finally led through the maze of construction vehicles by a golf cart with a giant sign attached to the top of it with a flashing yellow strobe light driven by a young man who looked like he was on spring break. I think every single construction worker along the way stared at the drivers as we approached them like they have never seen a minivan or a Volvo or a Taurus.

We were back on our way. Just then Grandpa Jones(who is still in front of me at this point) decides he is going to turn. No, no he's not. Wait, yes he is. No, not going to turn. Make up your damn mind Jones! Thankfully it was shortly after this that I finally got an opportunity to pass. Praise Jesus.


Now I thought I was in the clear just to run into another construction site just a short way up the road. What the heck? I'm pretty sure I'm going to dream about those damn orange cones tonight.