Bear Family Staycation

Papa Bear and I had originally planned to take a real away from home vacation. Unfortunately trying to get a straight answer from Papa Bear on what dates to take as vacation (or really any question) is like trying to grow a palm tree in a snow bank. By the time I got a definite date decided on we were too late to book a cottage at the place we had hoped...or anywhere close for that matter so we decided to stay home and just do day trips with the boys.

Today was day 1 of the "staycation". We didn't really have any plans for today because it was supposed to storm all day...we had a few very brief showers... The definition of vacation is; a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. Today was no freaking vacation!

I started my "vacation" out by having a metal 1:16 scale John Deere combine dropped on my face...while I was still asleep...Thank you Wee One and good morning. No problem. The swelling in my lip didn't last more than a couple hours and really wasn't much more painful than when I slipped stepping over a baby gate yesterday and ended up straddling the gate and scraping my arm to crap. I'm pretty sure I broke my lady part but I'll live.

It was then that the fighting started...and so did the migraine. I don't even know where the 3 of them even find that much to fight about. At one point Little Bear yelled from his room "I hate Fuzzy!"
to which Fuzzy replied "No you don't, you love me Little Bear, you do".
Did I mention it was 104 degrees out with humidity today so nobody would play outside for more than a few minutes at a time?

The entire day was used up with cleaning up messes, organizing useless time outs, breaking up fights and preparing meals that nobody was really going to eat much of. Where was Papa Bear while I dealt with my "vacation"? The answer, hiding out in our house addition that is a work in progress coming in only long enough to grab lunch and dinner and then escaping as soon as the fighting resumed from the short break they took to pick at their food.

I don't remember any pleasure or rest or relaxation in my day. There was no pleasure in having an end table drawer fall on your head causing a goose egg (and possible concussion) while you try to repair the damage done to it by 2 little boys. I know. There was no rest in having to vacuum the family room/office/playroom because Fuzzy thought he would open a package of microwave popcorn there. There is no relaxation in listening to Wee One scream because he thinks all the toys are his and Fuzzy feels the need to remind him that they are not.

I have no idea what would possess me to take an entire week off from my job and deny myself 4 hours a night away (no, I am not a hooker). I can assure you this though, there is no way on earth I will be doing it next summer if there aren't any going away plans. We are only 1 day in but so far "staycation" SUCKS!

Ahhhhhhh, A/C

I hate to sweat. I would much rather be freezing cold than even a little bit hot. When you are cold you can always put on more clothing, when you are hot you can only take so much off (without scaring other people anyway). This is why I can not live without air conditioning.

Air conditioning is a requirement for any house I live in or car I drive. Four walls and A/C and we're good, four wheels and A/C and we're good. I don't have it cranked to some ridiculous temperature that might turn my family into ice cubes, just a nice comfortable 74 degrees Fahrenheit is about right.

The first apartment X and I ever lived in was without air. It was our first summer in our first apartment that I purchased our first window air conditioner. The great big giant white box pumped all kinds of ice cold air into the tiny apartment cooling X, Roger the cat and I and making me a much happier lady.

My first car, a 1982 AMC Concord, dark green with baby poop brown interior, did not have air conditioning. The dark green paint helped to heat the little crap box up to a nice 110 degrees or better in the summer. Thankfully it had nice plush seats instead of vinyl or I may have been melted to them permanently. The most clothing I could ever wear to go for a drive was a bathing suit and a pair of shorts. It was brutal.

I feel sorry for all those poor bastards sweating it away all day and not sleeping at night. If I didn't have air conditioning (hypothetically speaking of course since that would never happen) I would spend my day at a coffee shop nursing the same soda for hours and soaking in their glorious artificial cool.

Or we could make an overly extended trip to Walmart. As long I buy something they can't kick me out can they? Yeah, I think Walmart would work best. Kids could take naps in the cart, on pillows that I "might purchase". I could visit with people I haven't seen in a while (I always run into these people when I go in to grab something quick). I could price compare any and all items I might purchase with my cell phone and save a bundle. Most Walmarts have a McDonalds in them so we would be set for meals as well.

Lord help me...or my in laws if my air conditioning breaks because I'll be moving in with them or who ever will take me until it is fixed...I will not sweat. It is not an option. Now will you excuse me, I need to go get a sweater.