Bear Family Staycation

Papa Bear and I had originally planned to take a real away from home vacation. Unfortunately trying to get a straight answer from Papa Bear on what dates to take as vacation (or really any question) is like trying to grow a palm tree in a snow bank. By the time I got a definite date decided on we were too late to book a cottage at the place we had hoped...or anywhere close for that matter so we decided to stay home and just do day trips with the boys.

Today was day 1 of the "staycation". We didn't really have any plans for today because it was supposed to storm all day...we had a few very brief showers... The definition of vacation is; a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. Today was no freaking vacation!

I started my "vacation" out by having a metal 1:16 scale John Deere combine dropped on my face...while I was still asleep...Thank you Wee One and good morning. No problem. The swelling in my lip didn't last more than a couple hours and really wasn't much more painful than when I slipped stepping over a baby gate yesterday and ended up straddling the gate and scraping my arm to crap. I'm pretty sure I broke my lady part but I'll live.

It was then that the fighting started...and so did the migraine. I don't even know where the 3 of them even find that much to fight about. At one point Little Bear yelled from his room "I hate Fuzzy!"
to which Fuzzy replied "No you don't, you love me Little Bear, you do".
Did I mention it was 104 degrees out with humidity today so nobody would play outside for more than a few minutes at a time?

The entire day was used up with cleaning up messes, organizing useless time outs, breaking up fights and preparing meals that nobody was really going to eat much of. Where was Papa Bear while I dealt with my "vacation"? The answer, hiding out in our house addition that is a work in progress coming in only long enough to grab lunch and dinner and then escaping as soon as the fighting resumed from the short break they took to pick at their food.

I don't remember any pleasure or rest or relaxation in my day. There was no pleasure in having an end table drawer fall on your head causing a goose egg (and possible concussion) while you try to repair the damage done to it by 2 little boys. I know. There was no rest in having to vacuum the family room/office/playroom because Fuzzy thought he would open a package of microwave popcorn there. There is no relaxation in listening to Wee One scream because he thinks all the toys are his and Fuzzy feels the need to remind him that they are not.

I have no idea what would possess me to take an entire week off from my job and deny myself 4 hours a night away (no, I am not a hooker). I can assure you this though, there is no way on earth I will be doing it next summer if there aren't any going away plans. We are only 1 day in but so far "staycation" SUCKS!

Sports, Sports, Sports...

Papa Bear loves his sports. He watches them on TV. He watches them in person. He plays a few. He reads about them. Heck, he probably even dreams about them. I, on the other hand would rather chew on a rock.

His favourite sport to watch on TV is hockey. I can stand to watch a bit of this sport, usually in the last period when all the important stuff happens. He watches Football, Baseball, Bowling, Tennis (yawn) and Golf (double yawn). He also watches Curling on TV. I can not stand to watch this "sport" for more than about 30 seconds. I usually spend that 30 seconds wondering what kind of whacked out "sport" calls each round an "end" when in fact they are no where near the actual "end" of the game.

I may not really consider Curling a real sport but I did try it twice and it isn't as easy as it looks. I ended up with a pulled groin muscle and a giant bruise on my knee. Curling is Papa Bear's "winter sport". He loves it and devotes one to two nights a week to this "sport".

Papa Bear's "summer sport" is baseball. Technically he is a member of a baseball team but I haven't really seen him actually play in a game for more than a few innings. Usually he just stands by a base and makes hand gestures at the batters. He's either telling them to bunt or to eat s@*# and die. Either way he's not going to hit any home runs standing out there. I sometimes go to the ballpark to support the team but rarely to see Papa Bear play. I used play baseball until I took a ball to the head resulting in a concussion and bruised brain. The doctor said if I was going to continue to play I had to wear a batting helmet in the outfield...forget that, I quit!

I used to Figure Skate for years. I skated from about age six up until I found out I was pregnant with Little Bear. Oh how I miss it but I still enjoy lacing up to skate on our homemade ice rink in the yard in the winter even with the bumpy, uneven ice and occasional deep crack. Figure Skating is one of the few sports Papa Bear does not watch or take part in.

The only sport Papa Bear and I participate in together is Bowling. Though I don't like to watch Bowling on TV I do enjoy playing the game. Bowling is also where Papa Bear and I met each other for the first time many, many moons ago. After about a ten year rest from the sport for me and about fifteen for Papa Bear, we joined an adult league with some friends. Papa Bear is a little bit better than me - but don't tell him I said that.

Soccer is the only sport that nobody in our household plays, watches or even really talks about. Apparently if you are a baseball player Soccer is the devil. I don't really know too much about this but I do have a Soccer ball hanging from the rear view mirror of my van but that is kind of a inside joke.

Living with four males, I should probably get used to the channel being set to some sort of sport whether I like it or not. All I can say is thank goodness we have more than one TV in this house. I'm sure it won't be long before Papa Bear has three more "men" to help him chant, "sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports...SPORTS!"

If You Build It, They Will Swing

6-8 hours to assemble. HA! This is what it said on the assembly instructions for the build-it-yourself climber/swing set Papa Bear bought for the kiddos. This included the time it would take to cut all the boards to the appropriate size. Maybe 6-8 hours if you had a crew of 10 people or if you were to consume 1/2 a dozen energy drinks. After 9.5 hours we had a ladder and a pile of cut wood...

I'm not sure if assembling play equipment falls into that category of things not to do with your spouse but I think Papa Bear and I did OK. This is a good thing with both of us wielding power tools. There were no major injuries. I say this while icing the series of giant bruises on my upper right thigh from having the ladder dropped on me but for the most part OK.

After 14.5 hours, 4 big bruises (all on MY body), about 1/2 a dozen power drill batteries, probably around 20 foul words and just shy of $1000 spent in materials we have a climber/swing set fit for our 3 princes. Little Bear's response "I like the climber but I wish I had some friends to play on it with me".
Fuzzy's response "I fall off da swing, it hurt me, I dun like it".
Wee Ones response "da".