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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Walmart Wipeout


I am such a loser. The other night I was headed to do a home party for my business when I decided to make a quick stop at Walmart for deodorant. (Just to clarify I already had deodorant on but was running low on it at home...not that the other situation has not happened since I tend to forget things often). I was a little over dressed for your local Walmart with my dress casual clothing and (super cute, pointed toe kitten heeled) dress shoes but who cares definitely not the people of Walmart.
I was in a bit of a hurry so away I went booking it down one of the main aisles toward the deodorant aisle.

Now I am not a professional high heel shoe wearer by any means and the particular shoes I had on didn't have a high heel they were just tiny little kitten heels. I'm pretty sure the following would have still happened in flip-flop just maybe not to the same degree.

I hit an overly buffed slippery spot on the floor partially down the main aisle. My feet went one way, my body went the other and I found myself laying on the floor in front of a dozen or so spectators. Oh how cool did I feel, laying on the floor in Walmart, in my dress clothes with half the contents of my fabulous pink purse scattered beside me while their stupid little yellow smiley face mascot laughs at me from the top of every aisle.

The lady directly in front of me looked mortified, "are you OK Dear?"
"Physically."
By physically I mean ouch that freaking hurt and is probably going to leave a bruise but nothing compared to the huge beating my pride just received. Seriously lady, stop looking at me. Just continue on with your shopping as if you hadn't seen a thing. Plleeaaasse.

I collected my scattered belongings, picked myself up off the floor and continued in a slower, more cautious way to the deodorant aisle, made my purchase and left the scene of my humiliation all the while resisting the need to limp on my way out of the store.

I can just imagine the guy sitting in front of the security monitors hitting rewind and play over and over again. At least I'm sure I put a smile on his face for the day. You're welcome.

2 comments:

Chesty McBreasty said...

Bahahahahahaha! I want to find that guy and get a copy of that tape!

Canadian Farm Girl said...

What! Over dressed for Walmart? How can that be? lol. No full out PJ's for you!