Friday, August 13, 2010

Colour My World

We have almost reached that point in our renovations where we will be ready to paint by next week. Most people would be excited by this. I am not. This means the queen of procrastination must make several decisions in a short period of time.

At present I have enough paint swatches that I could forgo the painting and instead tile in swatches. Kind of like a patchwork quilt sort of thing. Will probably match everything.

When I started thinking about paint...2 days ago. I realized that every room currently painted in my house is blue or green with the only exceptions being the laundry room and the "70's room" (the only room that did not get touched during our last renovation 3 years ago and still has 70's style wood paneling on the bottom of the wall, fake rock paneling on the top and tiled ceiling). Boy am I exciting with my rainbow of colours. Not.

Since I am design challenged and need to get this task done I went to the paint store - sorry, the paint and accent gallery in downtown Stinkburg for some assistance. The dude behind the counter (dressed all in black - how typical) was more than willing to help and proceeded to throw swatch after swatch in my direction until I stood there with about a dozen shades of the same colours in my hands but not knowing what room they were intended for.

Apparently when I told him the other colours in my home he took that to mean I would like to continue in that same colour template and therefore loaded me up with swatches mostly in blues, greens and browns. I am most thrilled about a yellowish swatch that I'm almost sure was thrown at me by mistake.

Next he gave me a 10 minute spiel on which paint was the best and how to apply it. I don't want to apply it. Thanks for reminding me that it wasn't going to just spontaneously appear on my walls but that I am actually going to have to do manual labour and put it there. I hate painting. I hate painting almost as much as I hate waiting. So now I get to paint, then wait (for it to dry), then paint some more and then wait some more. Sounds like a gallon of fun. Not.

Papa Bear is not making this paint colour selection much fun either. He vetoes my choices when I chose Barbie pink for my walk-in closet. I don't get to paint pink anywhere else. I want to buy pink paint damn it!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to have nightmares every night until I decided on colours of being taped up with painters tape and forced to watch HGTV for days on end. Maybe I'll just take the yellow swatch and paint every room in the addition that colour.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Bear Family Staycation

Papa Bear and I had originally planned to take a real away from home vacation. Unfortunately trying to get a straight answer from Papa Bear on what dates to take as vacation (or really any question) is like trying to grow a palm tree in a snow bank. By the time I got a definite date decided on we were too late to book a cottage at the place we had hoped...or anywhere close for that matter so we decided to stay home and just do day trips with the boys.

Today was day 1 of the "staycation". We didn't really have any plans for today because it was supposed to storm all day...we had a few very brief showers... The definition of vacation is; a period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation. Today was no freaking vacation!

I started my "vacation" out by having a metal 1:16 scale John Deere combine dropped on my face...while I was still asleep...Thank you Wee One and good morning. No problem. The swelling in my lip didn't last more than a couple hours and really wasn't much more painful than when I slipped stepping over a baby gate yesterday and ended up straddling the gate and scraping my arm to crap. I'm pretty sure I broke my lady part but I'll live.

It was then that the fighting started...and so did the migraine. I don't even know where the 3 of them even find that much to fight about. At one point Little Bear yelled from his room "I hate Fuzzy!"
to which Fuzzy replied "No you don't, you love me Little Bear, you do".
Did I mention it was 104 degrees out with humidity today so nobody would play outside for more than a few minutes at a time?

The entire day was used up with cleaning up messes, organizing useless time outs, breaking up fights and preparing meals that nobody was really going to eat much of. Where was Papa Bear while I dealt with my "vacation"? The answer, hiding out in our house addition that is a work in progress coming in only long enough to grab lunch and dinner and then escaping as soon as the fighting resumed from the short break they took to pick at their food.

I don't remember any pleasure or rest or relaxation in my day. There was no pleasure in having an end table drawer fall on your head causing a goose egg (and possible concussion) while you try to repair the damage done to it by 2 little boys. I know. There was no rest in having to vacuum the family room/office/playroom because Fuzzy thought he would open a package of microwave popcorn there. There is no relaxation in listening to Wee One scream because he thinks all the toys are his and Fuzzy feels the need to remind him that they are not.

I have no idea what would possess me to take an entire week off from my job and deny myself 4 hours a night away (no, I am not a hooker). I can assure you this though, there is no way on earth I will be doing it next summer if there aren't any going away plans. We are only 1 day in but so far "staycation" SUCKS!