Monday, May 20, 2013

Anxiety of a New Level


     Normally I blog about things as they happen but for some reason I didn't share this story when it happened.  I have retold the story a few times now and realize I should have just blogged it in the first place.

     It wasn't until 4 weeks and 1 day before my expected due date that I finally got an appointment with the doctor that is supposed to deliver this baby.    She is the same doctor that delivered my last 2 boys and typically I would have seen her a few times by that point.  Since it was a little later than usual and I hadn't seen my family doctor in over a month there were a few (unpleasant) things that needed to be done.  With that stuff done she goes through the rest of the appointment like normal and tells me to make an appointment for every Thursday until the week after my due date.  Then she springs on me that she is going on vacation for 2+ weeks and I will have to see her resident Dr. Boy for my next 2 appointments....  I know I've been through this whole birth thing 3 times already but no pregnant women likes surprises -especially at this point in a pregnancy.  Her vacation not only means that I will not be seeing her for 2 appointments but it also means she will not be delivering my baby if I go into labour in the next couple of weeks which is quite possible.  Let the anxiety soar!

     I left the appointment feeling anxious and a bit stressed.  Between the hour plus wait sitting in pregnancy unfriendly chairs, the news that my doctor very well could be away when I went into labour and that I was going to have my next to visits with Dr. Boy instead......Wait a minute....I didn't meet Dr.  Boy.  No face visual, no introduction, no handshake, nothing and I'm expected to let this dude all up in my business next week?  Welcome to another level of anxiety!

     When the appointment with Dr. Boy (He gets the alias of Dr. Boy as he looks to be almost old enough to grow a beard.  Until you can grow a beard you are a boy) finally came I was a bit relieved.  Dr.  Boy was really nice and not "hot" -there is nothing worse than a really great looking doctor when you are there for appointments below the waist.  The blushing and stuttering just seems to make the whole experience that much worse.  He was very professional and the appointment didn't seem so unlike that of my usual doctor.

     He measured my bump and felt around to see the position of the baby.  Then he got out his stethoscope to listen for the baby's heartbeat.  He set the scope and listened, set the scope again and listened, set the scope again and listened, set the scope and listened, gave the baby a little poke and listened, poked the baby again and listened, gave the baby a little shove and listened, another shove and listened, yet another shove and listened.  This went on for what seemed like forever....  Through all this poking and shoving going on, my usually extremely active baby didn't budge a smidgen... At least if the baby were wiggling around I would just know it was Dr. Boy's issue and not a problem.  I could feel my own heart rate pick up, my cheeks start to get hot.  I could feel myself start to sweat and basically about to $hit a brick.  Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and I looked at him and said "Dude, you are freaking me out!"
He looked back and said "ummm I'm going to go get the doppler".
"I think that would be a really good idea." -You think?!
...and I reached a new level of anxiety I didn't even know existed.

     When he returned with the doppler and started probing around again things were not much better and it still took him forever to find the heartbeat but he did eventually find it.  Apparently the baby was laying in a weird position that was making it hard to get to an area where the heartbeat is easy to get....and apparently having one hell of a good sleep to have remained so still through the poking and pushing he was getting.

     I think Dr. Boy and baby Cuatro were in on a practical joke together.  Dr. Boy said "I'll pretend like I have no idea what the heck I'm doing, you just lay there and don't move a muscle and we'll see how long it takes before she completely loses her $hit.  It will be hilarious."  Yeah, really effing hilarious...