25 again

Happy Birthday to me.

Birthdays are so different when you are 20-something compaired to when you are 6. You still have a hard time sleeping the night before. When you are 6 you are sitting up the night before excited for your big day, maybe a party, your gifts, being a year older and holding up one more finger when someone asks your age. When you are 20-something you lay in bed recounting the last year and what you wanted to accomplish and didn't or how close you are getting to that next landmark (30 isn't so far away). I really don't think there is any need for birthdays after your 25th. I would be more than happy to just let it ride after that one.

I still take my birthday off work every year. Before it was to go out and celebrate now it is so nobody else can see me in my depression of meeting another year that brings me farther from my youth. Today I spent my day refereeing my 3 little men and trying to recover from my lack of sleep last night. There was no cake but my 6 year old did sing happy birthday for me with his 2.5 year old brother singing back up. That was pretty cool I must admit.

Oh well, here's too another year before I have to worry about being another year older. Here, here!

Mother's Day

Today is mother's day. I am a mother. I got to spend my mother's day at work with my coworkers (including one sometimes cranky, paranoid baker) and my coffee drinking patrons. Happy Mother's Day to me.

I think Mother's Day should be a statatory holiday. Why not? I think we deserve it. After going through the whole childbirth thing the least we should get is one measley day.

After work I was welcomed home to little hugs and kisses (and one poopy diaper) from my 3 little angels. The oldest presented me with his Mother's Day creation. A homemade card and the most beautiful necklace a mother could ask for (cut outs of 2 little hands and a card with a poem on it strung on a piece of pink ribbon). Love it AND wore it.

My darling fiance gave me a card and a truly gorgeous necklace with a pendant depicting a couple with a child. I love it also and will continue to wear it.

Had (pizza) dinner with my soon-to-be inlaws and cake. Cake is always good. Watched as the 2.5 year old presented Grandma with her gift and cards which of course she would have cooed over even if they had been nothing more than scribbles by tiny hands.

I love being a mom on Mother's Day though it makes me sad that I lack a relationship with my own mother and can't share the day honouring someone I adore. Maybe one day she won't think appologies mean weakness or giving in and we can try again. Until then I will hold my little men tight and enjoy Mother's Day from only the Mother side instead the Daughter side as well.


Happy Mother's Day.

Working Sucks

Worked today. I work at one of Canada's finest coffee and donut franchises. Coffee pourer exstrodinaire, that's me.

The actual work doesn't suck. I actually kinda like it and I guess I would have to to work in the same place for 10.5 years. I love my customers (well most of them anyways).I don't mind most of my coworkers. I just don't want to work there anymore. I miss my kids. I want to make the most of the time I have with them especially while they are small. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom. I have a sense of pride that wont allow me to let someone else "provide" for me. I need to have the feeling that I am contributing. However since returning to work and resigning my management position to make more time for my boys I am now making only a couple more dollars a day than the daycare that is raising my kids. Doesn't make much sense does it?

It really bothers me that maternity leave is only a year but mothers on welfare don't get bothered to find work until their youngest child is 6. Why can't I get paid the money I already put into employment insurance for 6 years? The government just keeps making it easier to live on welfare and harder to work. This is a rough subject for me. I have so many problems with the welfare system and most of the people that use the system when they are quite capable of working just like the rest of us.

Day 2 as a Blogger

A full day of not too much. The kids were up way too early. God help me if I had kids like some people that rise before the sun. My kids sleep until 7:30am and I think that's rough. I am soooooo not a morning person. I would love nothing more than to cuddle up in bed with my 4 favourite guys (Jeffer and my 3 sons) and never leave but unfortunately my 6, 2.5, and 11 month old don't see things the same way.

The 6 year old is almost always the first one up and in and out of my room 110 times asking permission for everything. "Mom, can I watch a movie?", "Mom, can I play my DS?", "Mom, can I get a yogurt/granola bar/apple sauce/drink of milk/bowl of cereal?". Geez kid can't you see I'm sleeping here? The 2 year old wakes up with a diaper full of crap EVERY SINGLE MORNING. "Mommy, I tinky" and flashes his cute little smile. That of course is the first thing I want to see/smell/touch first thing in the morning. Finally the 11 month old is usually the last one up but only because he is spent from his night of systematically waking his mother up everytime she dozes into a decent sleep.

The morning is when they all act like they have been penned up for months and released into the freedom...of my kitchen. It is beyond me how kids can multitask so well so early in the morning. I know I don't have it in me to bark demands for what I want for breakfast, how I want it prepared, pour milk all over the table and floor and my baby brother while pulling my other brother's hair, tearing through the kitchen with a dump truck and the tractor that my brother is screaming for as it plows into the youngest one making him cry and singing on the top of my lungs the whole time. YIKES! Boy am I ever glad I didn't have to get up to go to work today...

Finally I have everyone fed and dressed and the kitchen mess shovelled out now what to do with the day? Phones ringing, babys crying, toddler is already working on poop #2, 6 year old is complaining. YIKES!

All in all we didn't accomplish a whole lot today. One load of laundry (4 need to be done), one letter delivered (after the nasty phone call asking for it yesterday), the kitchen cleaned - twice and...well thats about it.

Blog huh?

Blog. Definition: a Web site that contains an online personal journal with reflections, comments, and often hyperlinks provided by the writer. Hmmmm. Strange little word, blog. So I guess since this is my blog that this is where I put my reflections, comments and hyperlinks. Will anyone read it? I dunno. I don't really care. I've never blogged before and I'm not entirely sure I will be good at it. I'm not too committed to too many other activities (well maybe with one exception ;)) so my hopes that I will be a committed blogger are none too high. Strangely enough I'm sitting here not having a clue what to write. I'm not usually one that finds herself at a loss for words. In fact I usually say too much and end up with my damn foot in my mouth or I say too little and have to nurse a sore tongue from having been bitten so hard. People probably see me as a sarcastic (maybe even a little obnoxious) self assured, outspoken person. I do use sarcasm a lot. I am outspoken most often though I am able to censore myself when appropriate but self assured not so much. I'm like an M&M, hard candy shell on the outside and warm and soft on the inside. I don't wear my heart on my sleeve. I carry it locked in a box, chained up and locked in a safe. (Maybe I'll share some of the reasons for that in a later entery if I commit but not now). I think that my first blog entry should probably tell a little about who I am and where I come from. So here goes. Who is Slightlyinsanestacey?....well...hmmm...I'm a small town chick. I hate the city. I am the oldest of 3 and have 2 younger brothers. I am just shy of 28 (like really shy, my birthday is Monday) I have been married and divorced. I have 3 sweet little boys and the sweetest fiance ever. I work for one of Canada's finest coffee and donut chains (still). I don't really have any hobbies. I Facebook and I tried to Twitter but that didn't go so well. I live on a farm but don't know how to drive a tractor. I wear pink rubber boots out in public on occation but never crocs. I am part of a small group of moms that call ourselves The Crazy Mamas and go for coffee weekly, dinner monthly and other stuff in between. Ok I think that is enough for a first entry. Hopefully they get better as I warm up.