Ahhhhhhh, A/C

I hate to sweat. I would much rather be freezing cold than even a little bit hot. When you are cold you can always put on more clothing, when you are hot you can only take so much off (without scaring other people anyway). This is why I can not live without air conditioning.

Air conditioning is a requirement for any house I live in or car I drive. Four walls and A/C and we're good, four wheels and A/C and we're good. I don't have it cranked to some ridiculous temperature that might turn my family into ice cubes, just a nice comfortable 74 degrees Fahrenheit is about right.

The first apartment X and I ever lived in was without air. It was our first summer in our first apartment that I purchased our first window air conditioner. The great big giant white box pumped all kinds of ice cold air into the tiny apartment cooling X, Roger the cat and I and making me a much happier lady.

My first car, a 1982 AMC Concord, dark green with baby poop brown interior, did not have air conditioning. The dark green paint helped to heat the little crap box up to a nice 110 degrees or better in the summer. Thankfully it had nice plush seats instead of vinyl or I may have been melted to them permanently. The most clothing I could ever wear to go for a drive was a bathing suit and a pair of shorts. It was brutal.

I feel sorry for all those poor bastards sweating it away all day and not sleeping at night. If I didn't have air conditioning (hypothetically speaking of course since that would never happen) I would spend my day at a coffee shop nursing the same soda for hours and soaking in their glorious artificial cool.

Or we could make an overly extended trip to Walmart. As long I buy something they can't kick me out can they? Yeah, I think Walmart would work best. Kids could take naps in the cart, on pillows that I "might purchase". I could visit with people I haven't seen in a while (I always run into these people when I go in to grab something quick). I could price compare any and all items I might purchase with my cell phone and save a bundle. Most Walmarts have a McDonalds in them so we would be set for meals as well.

Lord help me...or my in laws if my air conditioning breaks because I'll be moving in with them or who ever will take me until it is fixed...I will not sweat. It is not an option. Now will you excuse me, I need to go get a sweater.

Tis The Season for Construction

GRRRRRR...Tis the season for construction. I don't think I have seen so many orange pylons in my life as I did today. A 45 minute drive ended up taking well over an hour. This is on a day when I have a time limit and have to back by a certain time.

The ride was started off by me getting behind Grandpa Jones who must have forgot today was Monday and was out for his Sunday drive. Why bother posting a speed limit of 90km if Grandpa is going to drive 70km? Of course he was impossible to pass too.

Next came the bump in the road signs. BUMP in the road? More like a freaking portal into a new dimension. What the heck was that? Pretty sure I bottomed out the ole kid hauler over the first one.

After the "bumps" I came to the man with the stop/slow sign. Today's man with the sign was a little more interesting than most. In the 15 minutes I sat behind his stupid stop sign, he ate his lunch, drank an entire water bottle, applied sunscreen and scratched parts that he shouldn't have scratched in front of a line of 20 drivers. Thanks for that buddy.

The 20 other cars and I were finally led through the maze of construction vehicles by a golf cart with a giant sign attached to the top of it with a flashing yellow strobe light driven by a young man who looked like he was on spring break. I think every single construction worker along the way stared at the drivers as we approached them like they have never seen a minivan or a Volvo or a Taurus.

We were back on our way. Just then Grandpa Jones(who is still in front of me at this point) decides he is going to turn. No, no he's not. Wait, yes he is. No, not going to turn. Make up your damn mind Jones! Thankfully it was shortly after this that I finally got an opportunity to pass. Praise Jesus.


Now I thought I was in the clear just to run into another construction site just a short way up the road. What the heck? I'm pretty sure I'm going to dream about those damn orange cones tonight.