For The Love of Bacon

Bacon, bacon, bacon. I love it! I have always loved it and I will likely love it until I'm dead - hopefully not from a bacon induced heart attack.

Apparently my good pal, Chesty McBreasty thinks my love for bacon is unhealthy which is evident by her eye rolls when she asks what I had for lunch and she already knows the answer. According to her it is not normal to have bacon for lunch -just bacon....like the whole pound. I know its not a great health choice but I love it. If I balance a lunch of bacon with a dinner of veggie filled salad I should be just fine...or at least that's what I tell myself. I would never allow my children to make a meal out of bacon but for me I think it is just fine.

When at a restaurant, if the waitress rhymes off the specials and even one of them includes some form of bacon I'm sold. I like bacon in my salad, in my soup, in my sandwiches, in my wraps, on the side, just about anyway besides beverages and ice cream. I love it!

I'm not prejudice either. I like all kinds of bacon. I'm not a huge fan of things like Maple Bacon and weird stuff like that which I will eat if not given another bacon choice but I like my regular strip bacon and pemeal bacon or "Canadian bacon" the best. While I'm not picky about what kind of bacon I eat I am very picky about how I like it cooked. I don't want any of that floppy limp crap (but I WILL eat it). I want the s*it cooked out it. I want it just a hint before burnt. I want so that if you were to drop it, it would shatter. X's sister used to run a restaurant and would drop my bacon in the deep frier...OMG...the BEST bacon you will ever have!

For Christmas I received a jar of "bacon salt" so I might turn less traditional items into bacony goodness like popcorn or tuna sandwiches or tacos or pasta or just a piece of toast. I'm not above sprinkling bacon salt over my fruits and veggies either. I have to say bacon flavoured cuccumbers or cauliflower sounds pretty damn good to me. The possibilities are endless.

Sorry this is such a short posting but I need to stop writing about bacon. I am suddenly having a hankering for some deep fried, bacon salted, greasy, bacon with a side of bacon.

Dinner and a Show (The Lost Blog)

*A while ago I wrote an entry that got deleted and it has been requested that I rewrite and post anyway. Here you go Chesty McBreasty. Not as good as the original but never the less here you go.*


As you may or may not know (depending on how often you read my blog or how well you know me in “real” life) I am a member of The Crazy Mama Society. Our group goes out for dinner and drinks once a month.

Usually these events are fairly uneventful. We eat some food, drink some drinks, and have some laughs. June’s dinner was not our usual evening.

We started off in a typical way by going to a local Chinese restaurant and enjoying some delicious cat balls and rice. Afterward we moved to the lounge of one of the two inns in our small town. When we got to the inn we ordered some drinks and continued our friendly banter and chatter. Shortly after we got there the lounge started to fill up a bit with young drunken men fresh off the green (not pot silly, golfing green) where they were participating in a golf tournament.

Seeing a table of all women with no sign of husbands, boyfriends or children, three of the young men approached our table and delivered their lines. We informed them that we were all married and that we averaged three kids a piece. We were declared a “waste of time” and they turned on their heels and returned to their drunken fun.

A few other young men were not as easily deterred. One young man now stood by our table and asked if he could sit down. He was told that we were having a Mama’s night out and that he had the wrong parts to sit at our table. He responded with “What part? I don’t got no part”
Buddy if you don’t have that part that’s a whole other issue and if you don’t know what that part is you need to see your parents for a long over due chat.

Another drunken soldier came and without asking plunked his butt in a chair and introduced himself. His name is one that I’m sure none of the Mamas will soon forget. He explained that he had returned to the table, not because of a bet but because of a conversation and asked if NONE of us was really single. “Sorry pal but you just lost your...conversation”. His friend joined the discussion after first taking a sip of one of the ladies drinks. Since it didn’t look like we were going to shake our new acquaintances we decided to have a little fun and made them the topic of several jokes.

The rest of the drunken young men were also having their own fun which resulted in vomit all over the floor behind us and a few broken and spilled beer bottles on the floor and pool table. Luckily one of the gentlemen (I use this term in the loosest of ways) was kind enough to warn us that if we wanted “to keep our tits up” to beware of the slippery, pukey floor. Thanks mister none of us would have enjoyed landing “tits down” in a pile of your friends bile.

One of the “gentlemen” took quite a liking to one of the (very obviously pregnant) Mamas and proceeded to kiss her cheek, blow in her ear and whisper “sweet nothings” to her. It didn’t take too long after this began to decided it was time for us to move on.

While waiting to pay our bills at the same time most of the young men where retrieving their “last call” drinks one of them decided that he needed to relieve himself, so he did - on the front of the bar and surrounding carpet.

It was on this note that we ended our June get together. There is nothing like dinner AND a show. Thanks for the entertainment guys but next time use the urinal.

What do YOU want for dinner?

Almost every night is the same. "Hunny, what do you want for dinner?"
"I dunno, what do YOU want for dinner?" And then the game begins. Pork chops?-don't like them. BBQ ed/baked/stuffed/stir fried Chicken?-no chicken. Pizza?-not again. Lasagna?-too heavy. Salad?-too light. Steak?-to expensive. Tacos?-rather not. Spaghetti?-not the way either of us makes it. Fish?-ewww.....What do you want from McDonald's?

This goes on at our house just about every night. I've tried lots of things to get us out of this pattern. Organized shopping lists, New recipes, Meal plans, you name it. Meal plans would work if one of us could remember to take chicken/pork chops/steak/hamburger out of the freezer the night before or in the morning so it would be thawed and ready to go for dinner but that very rarely happens.

If certain people would expand there pallet to include a little more interesting dishes this would be helpful too. Who wants to eat the same crap all the time? Variety is the key to getting most kids to eat something. My guys anyways. Of course what they like this week is totally different than what they are going to like next week.

Another thing that works against us is time. Both me and the Mr. work and don't get home until 4:30-5:00 when dinner needs to be started. Both of us are exhausted and the kids are running around like maniacs or need a diaper change/drink/help/etc. Neither of us are really excited to cook either. I cook only out of necessity. I can cook I just don't like to. I think those people that say they love to cook (along with people that say they like to garden) are either liars or nutcases.

I want to feed my family nutritious, well balanced meals but it Harvey's doesn't have that on their menu. I always said that I would eat out less when I had kids (with plans to make those proper meals) but it seems we eat out more than before the kids. So now I feel the guilt of filling my children up on processed, high fat, high sodium, high sugar, high calorie foods.

There is lots more I could write about this topic but it is getting hard for me to type and take bites of my Big Mac so I'll call it quits for now.