Game Time

   Who doesn't love a good ol' game of Where the Eff is That Noise Coming From at 2am?  Me, that's who.  Especially since I haven't been able to get more than a few hours of sleep a night in months.  However, there I was, laying wide awake in bed questioning my sanity as I was sure I was hearing a high pitched chirping noise piercing the quiet in about 1 minute intervals.

   I was laying there thinking, "I am hearing that right? It's not the wind blowing something outside or something dumb like that right?"  

I look beside me and Papa Bear hasn't flinched.  Not surprising since he has made it clear over and over again that he is half deaf and doesn't listen.  This fact is made evident by times when Little Bear asks a question like, "did you get dog food?" 

and Papa Bear responds with something like, "Adopted?!"

Anyway, after deciding I was indeed hearing it and that it sounded like the familiar sound of a smoke detector with a dying battery I poked the bear and told him to find the source since he was supposed to have just checked and changed batteries in all the detectors at Daylight Savings time.

   So Papa Bear proceeds to stumble around the house like a drunken teenager on prom night and standing under each smoke detector (since the we built the addition to our house we have quite a few, like 5 or 6 I think) and listening for the chirp.  He came back to bed and declares the sound is coming from our room and I'm going to have to find it.  How the hell could it be coming from our room?  We don't have a smoke detector in our room or anything else that should be making a similar sound.  Up I get and morph into Sherlock Holmes mode and do the Walk 3 Steps, Listen shuffle.

     After a few minutes I had the sound isolated to our en-suite bathroom.  "It's coming from in here!  I whisper yell to Papa who drunk stumbles into the bathroom with me and we stand and listen....  I can hear it.  I just can't find the source.  Like  a crazy person I start digging through the vanity and dropping my 4 weeks from delivery pregnant body to the floor to peer underneath it to see if I can find what is keeping me awake at this hour.  Still can't find it.

     Finally I start on the vanity drawers.  Now, in my drawer on my side of the vanity you will find things like my hair brush, hair ties, facial wipes, my makeup bag a few pieces of assorted jewellery -you know the sort of thing that SHOULD be in the bathroom.  On Papa Bear's side, if you open his drawer you will find his electric razor, earphones, pens, pencils, a pack of gum, an old cell phone, sink and tap manuals, an old grocery list, a handful of change, a few random pieces of hardware and shoved to the very back....1 old smoke detector with a blinking light and chirping in 1 minute intervals....that was all but whipped at him by a very sleep deprived, very fat and bloated, very bitchy pregnant lady at 2:35 in the mutha loving morning.

     "Now tell these folks what they've won for playing our game tonight Jim!"

"Well Bob, they've just won.....a very rough Friiiiiiiiiiiday with no possibility of a nap!"
.....Awesome.....

Winter Weight

It is my belief that we all need a little extra padding in the winter. Okay, maybe not my belief but my reality since I seem to acquire a little extra padding (specifically in the tummy and rear end regions) during the colder months. This year seems to be worse. I don't know if it is because that really ugly birthday (that I'm not having) is creeping up on me or because my job has slowed down considerably since Christmas. I'm going to pray its the latter giving hope to the chance it will disappear with little more than a pick up in schedule. I'm am very sure it has nothing to do with my addiction to Iced Capp made with (extra) cream, my love for chips or my hatred for exercise or the dreaded D word -diet.

This winter 10 pounds seems to have settled on my body. 10 pounds that makes the difference between getting the pants done up and....not. 10 pounds means the difference between curvy and lumpy. 10 pounds is enough for me to look in the mirror and say "okay Stacey, it is time to do something about this before 10 turns to 20 and 20 turns to 40 and I end up on the next season of The Biggest Loser and someone else sits on their couch eating ice cream and chip while watching me sweat off hundreds of pounds on national TV".

Since the only time I have to do any sort of actual work out is when my boys are in bed I do not plan on going for a run in the country and meeting all our furry woodland creatures that lurk out here. With work being slow I can't afford a gym membership and really don't have the desire for others to see me attempt something I have never done before. I don't own a treadmill or any exercise equipment but I do own a Wii and Wii Fit. I felt this was a good place to start so the other night after I finished my jar of gourmet jelly beans and soda I decided to pull the ol Wii Fit out from under the layer of dust. I don't pretend the Wii is as good as those other methods but that's what I've got.

The first thing the game asks you to do is a body test where it weighs you and checks your balance and asks how much your clothes weigh (mine are always extremely heavy even if I am only wearing shorts and a tshirt) to determine your "Wii Fit age". After it completed it's series of "tests" the first thing the piece of s@#* told me was that I was overweight. That alone was enough for me to want to through the controller through the front of Papa Bear's new TV and find another jar of jelly beans. I don't think I am suffering from any serious bouts of denial but when I see my reflection, even with the extra 10 pounds, I do not see an "overweight" person. Screw you Wii Fit! The next thing it told me was that my "Wii Fit age" is 43..... Awesome.....

Next I flipped through the game selections. The Wii already told me I had decent balance so no need to waste my time on balance building activities. Strength exercises seemed pointless too. Who needs to be strong as long as they can be skinny? As for Yoga-let's leave that till I run out of steam. I decided to go with the aerobic activities.

I round of virtual hula hooping was enough for me. Hip circles and thrusts are better used for other purposes ;). The basic step aerobic activity I found to be quite enjoyable though. Maybe exercising can be a bit fun. After a couple of times through the basic step game I collected enough time to open the advanced version which is way more fun, way more high speed and way more sweat inducing. I pushed myself through 45 minutes of step aerobics. I should have stopped after about 10-15 minutes but no pain, no gain right? Boy did I gain some pain the next day....so much that I had to take the night off but limited myself to half a jar of jelly beans.

On day 3 of my "exercise plan" I went back at it after catching crap from the Wii for skipping a day. I even had to explain my absence - to a cartoon version of the step.. I pushed myself through another 45 minute "work out" before showering up and heading to bed.

The next day I came down with a nasty, nasty stomach bug that kept my head in the toilet for almost 6 hours straight. That combined with the pain I gained from feeling the burn was a rough, rough combination. My legs, butt and arms hurt from the work outs and my guts and back hurt from the toilet marathon. My head pounded and my eyes hurt. I was a mess which I blame half on the exercise. It took a couple of days to bounce back from that mess and now that I'm feeling great I afraid to get back on the Wii Fit to have the rathe of the Wii Fit board come down on me for taking too many days off. I am on the other hand curious to see how many pounds I puked up. I would just jump on a bathroom scale like many people keep in their bathrooms but mine is in the drive shed being used to weigh out corn.

Tonight was drinks with Chesty McBreasty. Tomorrow can be the return of the very loose exercise program. I did download (shhh) some Zumba videos so maybe I'll give that a whirl. I hear people saying it is fun and not just those people that get their kicks running marathons and "tone" in their spare time. Might be something to try after I make sure the blinds are shut tight so I don't scare my in laws across the road. Or maybe I'll cut down on my Iced Capps with (extra) cream - nah, who am I kidding? That is my fuel.

Shown Up

Papa Bear and I met each other many, many moons ago while both involved in youth bowling. Say what you want, I loved to bowl and still do. A few years ago a friend invited us to join an adult mixed league. We had lots of fun and the next year invited friends to join.

This year a few more spots opened up and I thought my newly retired father might enjoy a night out and he too enjoys bowling. Daddy-O was a 5-pin bowling coach and bowled with my brothers and I in special family bowling tournaments but never as part of a league. He did however bowl in a 10-pin league for a number of years several years ago.

Daddy-O was pretty eager to join and was there nice and early for our first night. I was a little worried about how this might go down. Daddy-O is not a young man - not like he's pushing 100 or anything but he is no spring chicken either. I just hoped he didn't break a hip or trip or throw all his balls in the gutter in front of the rest of the bowlers because that would be embarrassing for him and I both.

My fears deepened a bit when he did indeed throw his first ball right down the gutter. It was at this point I hoped for him to at least break a score of 65. It turns out I should have been more worried about my own rusty game than his. It seems it was quite easy to tell I haven`t stepped foot in a bowling alley since the end of May.

After a few shaky frames I thought Daddy-O was shaping up to bowl a beginner like game but after making "a minor adjustment" as he said he started throwing strikes. He ended up with a respectable 180 for his first game will I, his seasoned daughter bowled a 151. What the f--- heck?!

The second game was worse...for me... I don't know if watching him on his way to throwing a very impressive 228 was what distracted me from my game but I ended up with a shameful 112... Whatever. I was going to show him in the last game...or not.
He summed up his third and final game of the evening with a 216 and I finished with my highest game of the night -a 184...

I guess I was right to be embarrassed but not for my dad but by him while he thoroughly and fully kicked my ass! I really hope this was a case of beginner's luck or I am really going to have to step up my game to save face. I think for tonight I'm going to go with my mother's suggestion that I am such a good daughter that I threw all 3 games so he could look good. Sounds good to me but really great games Daddy-O! Rematch next week. :)