Pass Gas With Class

I don't claim to be extremely lady like at all times by any means but when did it become acceptable for woman to burp and fart in public like a caveman? Is that not still a rude thing to do?

I know we all have to burp or let one rip from time to time but am I alone in thinking that it should be done discreetly or blamed on my kids when in public? Too often lately I have found myself surrounded by burpers and farters who think it is their duty to let the world know that they had chili for lunch. They let 'em rip loud and proud without an ounce of concern.

I'm embarrassed if a belch or fart escapes my body when there are other people around-other than Papa Bear - I can appreciate a well executed "dutch oven" as well as anyone else but these burpers and farters just don't seem to care where or when they let go.

It's bad enough when men do it(I think it part of how they communicate to each other) but come on ladies we should conduct ourselves with a little more class. I doubt men really find burping and farting in front of their family and friends a sexy quality in the women of their dreams. I don't ever remember hearing any guy say "did you hear that giant stinky fart that came out of that blonde? I'm going to take her home with me if she didn't crap her pants!"

Old ladies are an exception. They likely think they are being discreet because they are too deaf to hear the kinds of sounds that come out of their bodies and I've never heard my grandmother go "ahhhh, that feels better, I bet you can't do better". Young children can also get away with such rudeness because their cuteness is more powerful therefore it trumps the rudeness.

I think a woman burping and farting in public is something I would most likely see in a trailer park by a bleach blonde tramp, wearing sleazy clothes that show off too much of her crackhead body with missing teeth (other than the teeth thing I think I just described my ex husbands ex girlfriend) but unfortunately they are everywhere laughing at the disgusting sounds (and smells) they are producing from their bodies and forcing the rest of us to hold our tongues (and our noses) from telling them just how rude they are.