Thursday, January 7, 2010

Calling All Tooth Fairies

Calling all Tooth Fairies! Can we get together please to discuss our costs? Could we please come to some sort of agreement of what is fair price for teeth? Can there please be some consistency across the board?

When Little Bear lost his first tooth, the Tooth Fairy was completely stumped. How much money am I supposed to leave for a single tooth? There doesn't seem to be any standard for which to follow. Certainly teeth are subject to inflation like anything else right? I'm sure I'm supposed to leave more than the quarter I used to get. The most I ever received for one of my pearly whites was 1 dollar and I think that was the very last one to leave my mouth.

I asked some friends who's responses varied from a dollar a tooth to 5 dollars a tooth. 5 dollars a tooth?! Oh, how many more Bottle Cap candies and Wacky Taffy I could have bought if the Tooth Fairy had left me 5 dollars for each of my teeth. I could have consumed so much more sugar, which in return would have sped up her business. I'm thinking my Tooth Fairy was not very business savvy.

There was no way I was leaving 5 freaking dollars for Little Bear every time he lost a tooth. How many teeth do they have in there anyway? Probably like a trip to the grocery store worth at 5 mutha lovin' dollars a piece. Finally I decided that the Tooth Fairy should leave Little Bear 5 dollars for his FIRST tooth and a nice little note explaining that he was receiving a little extra only because it was his first tooth and any subsequent teeth would bring in only 1 dollar each.

I thought that was fair and Little Bear seemed happy with the agreement... That was until he came home from school one day and tells me that Little Miss Sally Stir-the-shit told him that the Tooth Fairy leaves 5 dollars for every one of her teeth. S#@* Sally, what the hell?!

How can I explain to Little Bear that his teeth are worth less than Sally's because his Tooth Fairy's only other income is a part time, minimum wage paying coffee pouring gig?

So, it is at this time that I really would like to call a meeting for all us Tooth Fairies to get together for a Tooth Fairy conference of sort and make guidelines so that some other up and coming Fairies don't have to deal with a Sally Stir-the-shit?


Goldcoast Fashions said...

OMG!! Love It!! This Tooth fairy Must Admit that there Definately Does need to be some consistancy for sure!! Have to admit that Our little Boohas recieved as much as $10.. up until I reminded my Co-Tooth Fairy that there is more then one little tooth Fairy Recipient in our house & things Must be fair of course!! :D Thank Goodnesss Boo has swallowed 2 of his last three teeth & was Soo Excited about us actually assisting with the removal of his most recent tooth that he Insited in holding on to it personally & ended up loseing it!! :S I would attend the Conference for sure!!

~ Mama said...

We leave the exact same, $5 for first, $1 each subsequent. I told my son with the economy the way it is he should be happy the tooth fairy still has her job and comes at all lol.

Chesty McBreasty said...

I agree, our fairy was stumped too until she got some advice from other fairies as to how much the going rate for a tooth is these days...sure has gone up!! She also left $5 for the first and now leaves between $1-2 for each after, depending on how much change is left in her purse after a trip to Timmy's!

Anonymous said...

tell little bear that sally must brush her teeth more and therefore are in better shape so she gets more. Like trading in a used car!