Oh Boy(s)

Oh boy, I am raising three boys. This has presented a few challenges. The biggest problem with bringing up three little men is that, well, I'm a girl!

I have no experience being a boy. I don't understand how they think. I grew up with only brothers but that doesn't even really seem to be helpful.

Boys are gross. They just are. Fuzzy regularly brings his boogers to me on his finger and wants me to take care of it. EWWW, Fuzzy boogers are gross, put it in a kleenex and throw it in the trash. We do not need a show and tell. Fuzzy is also my bug collector and has even tasted a few. Little Bear insists on eating his lunch in three bites or less. I have never seen a little girl chow down like a little boy. Breathe boy, breathe. Wee One is still in the early stages of grossness and it is not as obvious as it is with his brothers.

Boys are weird. Yesterday I was changing Fuzzy's diaper and he had himself a little baby ummm..."tall friend" and was asking about it when Little Bear walked by and informed me that his penis does that sometimes too - when it gets tired of just hanging down all the time and if he plays with it a little bit it does that.....ummm...OK.

Boys are crazy. I have seen plenty of little girls with lots of energy but I'm sorry little ladies you can not compare to the non stop rhythm of a young boy. All day long they go, go, go. I'm down to only one that actually has a nap in the day so there isn't much down time around here. I am completely exhausted with chasing them all day long.

Boys play different than girls too. I have never turned my sandwich crust into any kind of vehicle and drove it around the table making motor noises. It amazes me at how many different items I have seen turned in to cars, trucks, tractors, and airplanes. Geez, it's a sippy cup kid, not a city bus.

Having all boys has some advantages. It is easier to pick out my pink and purple clothes out of the basket of folded laundry. Nobody will be borrowing my clothes or shoes as they get older (well, I guess this isn't really a guarantee but less likely than if I had daughters). We use less toilet paper (no need to wipe when you can shake). Nobody in my household will ever come home and tell me they are pregnant. I don't have to worry about vacuuming up Barbie shoes. There are no crying, peeing, pooping dolls kicking around (just actual kids that do those things).

Raising boys has posed it's share of challenges but it has certainly been entertaining so far as I'm sure it will continue to be. Lord give me the strength to endure. I'm raising three boys, oh boy.

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Millions of people are afraid of spiders. I'm not necessarily AFRAID of them but I don't exactly like them either. I do however know quite a few that are very much afraid of the creepy little critters. I don't know if it because of how ugly they are or they move but for being so small in size they are feared by plenty.

I live with an arachnophob. He's 6. He is afraid of all bugs and spiders but mostly spiders. I thought all boys were supposed to love to touch bugs and creepy crawly, slimy things but not my Little Bear.

When he comes across a spider most often than not he lets out the loudest ear piercing girlified scream ever to come out of a male body. He will then either flee the scene or yell for someone to get it - usually it's his 2.5 year old brother is his rescuer "I get Bear, I get it".

Little Bear isn't satisfied with just a flattened spider, it must be properly disposed of in the toilet where it is to be flushed and never seen again.

Another person I know who is very afraid of spiders is my good pal and fellow Crazy Mama, Chesty McBreasty. This chick isn't afraid of too much but if a tiny little spider crosses her path she is suddenly an 8 year old school girl dancing around and screaming like a freak. Seriously the frigging thing is smaller than the fingernail on your pinky finger and she acts like it is going to swallow her whole.

I have to admit the contrast between Chesty McBreasty's fit of fear and my 2.5 year old, Fuzzy's amazement by the 8 legged wonders is rather humorous. Where Chesty refuses to enter a room where there is a spider, Fuzzy is more than happy to follow a spider around the house for an hour before it disappears or he decides it's life is to end.

I'm pretty sure after reading this Chesty is likely to have a nightmare of a giant, 8 legged beast chasing her down and spinning her up in it's silky web and eating her for dinner. Sleep tight Chesty, Muhahahahaha!