In My Red High Heels

For the longest time I never understood how or why women wore high heeled shoes. Part of this ignorance towards heels might have been to my inability to walk in them. OK, I was able to walk but it wasn't pretty.

Then one day I walked into a store and saw the most adorable pair of red polka dot heels and I had to have them. I put them on and instantly felt the pull of the muscles in the back of my legs. I felt my sex appeal go up a couple of points. I felt taller and more powerful. I felt more feminine than any other piece of clothing or accessory had ever made me feel before. I felt like shouting "I am woman, hear me roar!".

I bought them with intentions to first learn how to walk in them and then to wear them to my future brother in laws wedding. I also bought a pair of flats...just in case.

For the next couple of weeks I wore my super cute heels around the house. I wore them while I did laundry and while I did dishes (well while I loaded the dishwasher anyway). I wore them while chasing my 3 little monkeys around the house in my pajamas. I planned an outfit to wear to the wedding that would match the heels as well as the flats...just in case.

Determined to wear these fabulous shoes to the upcoming event I decided I needed to make sure I didn't look like a heffelump walking in them. I asked Papa Bear but really I needed a women's opinion. Crazy Mamas to the rescue! Just one of the millions of times it comes in handy to have 9 great friends willing and able to help with just about anything at any given time.

I went to "The Young, Blonde Wannabe"'s house first and strutted across her hardwood. Looks good she told me. OK...but I wanted to be REALLY sure...just in case. Next I went to "Chesty McBreasty"'s (she is probably the closest I know to a high heel expert) and paraded around her living room. With her approval I was finally convinced that I was ready to make my public high heel debut.

I continued to practise for the last few days before the wedding and then the day of I slipped on my spectacular red footwear, felt the "power surge" and cautiously headed out.

At the end of the night I had several blisters (mostly due to the extremely rainy wet weather) and a new sense of accomplishment. That's one small step for any women, one giant (sexified) leap for Slightlyinsanestacey.