Boobies

Boobies, breasts, titties, hooters, big guns, the girls, melons, coconuts. It doesn’t matter what you call them boobies are boobies.

Some are big, some are small but boobies are boobies. I was going to say women have boobies but some men do too so I won’t discriminate.

Boobies serve all kinds of purposes. They are for feeding babies and holding up tube tops. The are for hood ornaments and for play toys. They are for balance and life preservers. They are food catchers and temperature gauges.

They come in all shapes and sizes. From perfectly perky and round to low and saggy. From giant H cups to barely there A cups. Boobies are boobies.

I used to have myself a nice pair of barely there perfectly perkies. That was before I had any kids. Now I have a pair of ugly slightly saggies.

Thank god for bras even if the size is a lie. I am referring to my most recent bra purchase of a size D cup. If you have ever seen my slightly saggies you know full well they are not a D cup but that’s what the tag says on my new bra so they are a D dammit. Everyone that has a pair of slightly saggies or worse super saggies should always wear a bra in public. Stop scaring children!

When I’m all done having kids (that’s right I’m NOT done yet) I’m going to save my pennies for a nice boob lift (and maybe a bit of fill). That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to enter into middle age with a nice store bought pair of decent sized perfectly perkies.