Mission Accomplished

I did it. I got a bathing suit. I went to the tortured chamber that is the dressing room at Walmart and tried on suits. Walmart because I absolutely refuse to spend more than $30 on a bathing suit that I am not going to wear more than a couple of times and not likely out in public. I managed to stay under my $30 budget with a $28 purchase of a pink and black tankini. Pink top and black bottoms.

The search for a decent looking suit wasn't nearly as painful as I had thought it would be. This could be due to the fact that I had very few choices to pick from. Basically they had the same 3 bathing suits in 5 different colours. It is from experience that when it comes to tankinis (or really any suit really) black is best. Anytime you stray from black (or navy) you are just choosing which part of your body you want to inflate. In my case I choose to inflate the top part of my body because it seems that my several daily iced cappuccinos with extra cream have already inflated my bottom half.

I'm still not 100% sure about the pink top but seeing as they didn't have the style I liked in black in my size I had to go with an inflating colour.

The first suit I put on was soooo not flattering but rather fattering. I know I'm carrying a little more weight than I normally do but geez I don't really think we need to separate my flab into nice, shiny, Lycra secured rolls. So that was a pass.

Next was a one piece. I don't know why I even bother with these they almost always look like I'm wearing a box. For some reason as soon as I put a one piece on my hips totally disappear and I am left looking like Spongebob Squarepants on super white stilts.

2 suits were definite no's and didn't even get to grace the dressing room with me. I was pretty relieved when I put on the last suit and there were no major issues. In fact it actually makes my boobs look pretty frigging good. However I really need to do something about my glow in the dark legs. They really are distracting.

1 hour on the hunt and I can officially say mission accomplished. I now have a slightly less than disastrous garment to wear to take my kids swimming.