Saturday, June 20, 2009


No, I am not talking about the large cat that lives in the wild. I am talking about a whole other species of animal...older ladies that are trying to live 20+ years younger than they are. They think they are young, hip and reeking of sex appeal.

You know the ones. They are the ones that wear too much make up and use too much hairspray. They wear tight fitting, loud clothing most commonly in some sort of animal print. They paint their nails in bright colours and wear huge gaudy jewelery. They hit on much younger men and spend too much time in tanning beds.

These are the kinds of ladies that own a dozen jars of wrinkle cream that they smear on their laugh lines and crows feet religiously trying to turn back the hands of time. Sorry ladies but you can resurrect a dinosaur either.

There should be some rules for these cougars;

1. you may not shop in the junior section.
2. You may not borrow clothing from your daughter/granddaughter.
3. Leather is what your boots should be made from not your face.
4. Animals are the only ones that should really be wearing animal prints.
5. Bigger is not always better.
6. Bikinis should not be worn by anyone over the age of 40.
7. Just say no to miniskirts after 35.
8. When it comes to accessories, less is more
9. You should not date anyone that who's age is less than yours divided by 2 or more.
10.Make up does not need more than 1 are not painting a house.

If these ladies would just simply follow these rules the rest of us might stop staring in disbelief that you actually left your houses like that.